Sabotaging the Generations 2

So I never got around to writing this second piece the day after the first, but the loss of the next generation is a big concern of mine. If we continue down the path of decline of the Christian faith in the American evangelical church among our children and youth, Christianity will not have much of a future in the next 40 years! Just a small disclaimer: even in perfect parenting there is no guarantee of faith, children are responsible for their lives/eternities. However, we may also bear the guilt if we do not afford them with good spiritual guidance through consistent practice of the faith. Nor does marrying believers guarantee good parenting and commitment to pass on the faith. For hypocrisy is probably more deadly than express unbelief to our children.

The second way that we are seeing the next generations of Christians sabotaged is the intermarriage of faith and non-faith (or nominal faith). God warns of this in Deut 7:3-4 "Nor shall you make marriages with them. You shall not give your daughter to their son, nor take their daughter for your son. For they will turn your sons away from following Me, to serve other gods; so the anger of the LORD will be aroused against you and destroy you suddenly." And we see this played out all through the Old Testament, just like God said.

Yet we ignore this truth and the warning given in 1 Corinthians that tells us not to be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. We have all seen it: a young man "falls in love" (that's a whole separate blog) with a girl that is not following Christ (she maybe have a profession, but is not living it, or maybe she is lost altogether), and it may happen slowly (over years), or quickly (over months), but sooner or later it is easier not to fight the battle with her, and he stops following Christ.

Even if he persists in his walk with Christ, they get married, and the kids can tell that mom really doesn't think that it is important, and regardless of what they are told (for she may be outwardly compliant), they see the truth, and it sinks in. And when they are of age, well they choose their own way...

And the same is true for young women who marry unspiritual men. Now, who wants their kids to reject Christ and go to hell? Nobody! But by mingling faith/non-faith, we are sabotaging them. How do we avoid this? Teach this in our churches, enforce in in our homes. Teach them that if they don't date people with weak or no faith, they won't marry them, and their kids (our grandchildren) will not die lost. Make them see that eternity is in the balance!

And of course the ramifications are much larger than your kids/grandchildren. What about their grandchildren and their grandchildren? Once the baton of faith has been dropped, the lostness in the family will grow exponentially with each generation. And so your decision to marry a lost man/woman could (I say could because God can do anything), cost you hundreds of souls...

So STOP IT! Put away the foreign boyfriends/girlfriends among you that cause you to worship foreign gods, and forsake the One True God! Do it for your children, grandchildren, and their grandchildren.

Thanks for reading,

Sabotaging the Generations 1

Didn't realize it had been so long since I blogged last. But I doubt you suffered any loss not hearing from me. Anyway...

Recently several times Erika and I have seen situations in lives that we fear are sabotaging the next generation of believers in "good" Christian's lives. Don't hear me saying that there is no hope for those who are reared in these situations, I am committed to the absolute sovereignty of God (including election), but God gives ample instruction and normal means of the preparation of hearts and awakening of spiritual desires. So I guess I share these two situations because of my burden for Christ's flock and their offspring and the Kingdom. Hear them, and share them in the form of a warning.

1) Inconsistent gathering. I know, I know, harping on being with the church again. What can I say, it's the preacher's job. But really, children (or grandchildren) of professing Christians easily interpret the message that gathering with God's people is of minimal importance and done only when convenient if there is no consistency in Dad/Mom's or grandparent's lives. They realize that the church is not that important, thus Christ is not important, therefore a waste of time. They see very little impact upon their family's lives from Christ, and will eventually abandon the faith. Even if they don't abandon the faith officially, they abandon it in their hearts, and express a greater hypocrisy than the preceding generation.

Certainly consistent church gathering will not ensure future faith of our children, and there are many other ways that consistent church gatherers can destroy infant faith, but it seems a simple obedience to follow (Heb 10:25) to aid our children's picture of real faith. Once the chain of faith is broken, think of how many children and grandchildren of otherwise well meaning Christians will end up among the goats that were appointed to eternal fire. Time and space would not permit me to elaborate on the other benefits of regular participation with the Body of Christ, but isn't the eternity of our children and the generations to follow worth our determined commitment?

"Therefore know that the LORD your God, He is God, the faithful God who keeps covenant and mercy for a thousand generations with those who love Him and keep His commandments" -Deut 7:9

Never got to number two, guess I will do that one tomorrow...

Thanks for reading!

A Plea for Multi-Generational Parenting pt. 3

For my last post on this topic, I want to address two remaining issues. First of all relationships. If we are to pass on values and truth to the next generation, we must build and maintain relationships. Everyone thinks that they have a relationship with their children, but not every child thinks they have a genuine relationship with their parents. One of the best resources that I have seen on this topic was a message that Josh McDowell preached that the GA Baptist State Evangelism conference. You can order the message here. He shows the truth that if we don't maintain our close relationships with children and teens, they will not receive the truth that we teach (this is not ruling out the intervention of the Spirit, just stating truth). Truth is receive when its communicated in love. We must maintain intimacy with our children and teens, knowing them, relating to them, and serving them, else they will view the truth we teach as falsehood. This not only applies to our own families, but to those within the body of Christ that we minister to. And those in the community (assuming that you are ministering in the community). We must have closeness, vulnerability, honesty, love, and genuine commitment to them, BEFORE they will hear our truth. We must reduce judgmentalism and get involved in their world.

Secondly, we must personally sell out for Christ. Half-hearted Christian commitment will ensure apostasy in our own families, churches, and denominations. Nominal faith in one generation is no faith in the one that comes after it. According to Voddie Baucham it takes two Christian families with two kids a piece to get one believer into the next generation (it's not rocket science with a 75% defection rate). The younger generations see right through the hypocrisy that got by us. And they don't want that Christ, or at least not His church. McDowell says that never before in the history of the church has a hypocritical parent or church member been such a hindrance to the preaching of the word. If Christ is not everything to us all week long, all month long, all year long, our children will understand the shallowness of our commitment, and reject our gospel.

Strive to be the parent or parental figure that inspires legends about your godliness. Refuse to be a status quo, maintenance mentality, don't rock the boat believer. Let your testimony of your passion for Christ be evident. Pray that your family will be speaking of this great grandfather or grandmother who loved Jesus more than life itself. Pray that they will be aspiring to be like you. Pray that they will tell of your accomplishments for the kingdom for generations. THEN, GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT! Live radical for Jesus! Quit making excuses! Cut off the hands and gouge out the eyes that prevent you from living a legendary life and raising up Christian ballistic missiles! Live your faith out loud! May the dust of your Rabbi be all over you! And if so, may your tribe increase to the glory of God and the ingathering of the nations!

A Plea for Multi-Generational Parenting pt. 2

Deut 5:29 Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and with their children forever!

These are the words of God about the commitments of the children of Israel to follow God's commandments. This was His hope for the current Israelites, the generations to come, and those of us who are grafted into the vine. And as I listen to grandparents whose grands and great-grands are wandering far from His ways, and as I read the latest numbers from Barna that say that 75-88% of second year college students that come out of the church are no longer participating in any kind of church life. Listen to the stats from another study recently published--out of 1200 adults with children under 18 years old living at home--only 15% include godliness in their children as a mark of successful parenting, only 24% of people who attend weekly religious services included it, only 29% of "born-again" Christians indicate that their faith even influences their parenting! And we wonder why the trends continue to escalate!

We must realign our goals in parenting, and seek the face and the instruction and help of God, if we ever hope to stem the tide. We must become discontent with cultural and nominally Christian goals! The parents in the above cited study listed these as the top five goals in parenting: 1) children have good values, 2) children become happy adults, 3) children are successful, 4) children become "good people," and finally, 5) getting a college degree. Nothing wrong with most of these, but the main goal is not to raise "good" kids, educated kids, athletically superior kids, well-mannered kids, church kids, moral kids, or kids with a healthy self-esteem. Our goal is to rear children that love Christ, supremely value Christ, and are valuable to the kingdom. If our children do not become God-centered, Christ-exalting, and Bride-loving as adults, something has gone wrong. (And this is not to say that perfect parenting produces perfect kids, or that all kids that go bad have histories of parental failure. There are no guarantees!) But whatever else our children achieve, if they do not love Christ and serve Him, all of their accomplishments will be wood, hay, and stubble in the kingdom. And my fear is that we take far too causal an approach to passing on the faith to the next generation. We must be intentional, and redouble every effort to ensure above all things their loyalty to Christ to the best of our abilities and to the glory of God.

Unfortunately the two groups of young people that I see continue in the faith are those that have radically sold out Christ-centered, fanatical parents, AND those that have unbelievers for parents, and very little support at home. I see countless numbers of youth that belong to normally committed church members going astray. I see youth who come from these families knowing the Sunday School answers, and how to act around the preacher and the church folks, but with very little genuine Christian fruit. Then when they are left to their own design without the restraining parental influence of home, they do not follow Christ. And if the children don't, how will the grands and great-grands fare? And why in part--because our goals are far too weak and our standards too low.

We must intentionally parent our children to faith with doctrine, scripture, family worship, godly parental examples free from hypocrisy and "churchianity," proper emphasis and priorities, biblical financial and relational and educational training, etc. We must consider our ways, lest we share the experience of many of our grandparents, and watch our future generations live lives that do not glorify the Most Glorious One! Parent for multiple generations that follow you so that you raise up Christian ballistic missiles that will all look back on you as the legend of faith in the family that laid the foundations for hundreds of faithful that come from your clan. And may the kingdom benefit from your efforts!

A Plea for Multi-Generational Parenting pt. 1

In recent days I have seen several grandparents brokenhearted when grandchildren choose paths that are culturally, but not morally or biblically pleasing. And it causes so much pain. And these are fine Christ-following people, and so you wonder what went wrong. Should we expect our children and grandchildren to follow in the way that we lead them in?

Psalm 78:5 "For He established a testimony in Jacob, And appointed a law in Israel, Which He commanded our fathers, That they should make them known to their children; 6 That the generation to come might know them, The children who would be born, That they may arise and declare them to their children, 7 That they may set their hope in God, And not forget the works of God, But keep His commandments..."

I realize that there are no guarantees in parenting, no perfect parents and no perfect kids. And I definitely don't claim to have all the answers in my five or so years of parenting. But I see the trend of apostasy among our young people (upwards of 80%), and it is alarming! And so as a parent, I ask, what can we do? What can I do now to help pass on the faith later. Over the next three or four posts, I would like to offer some suggestions.

1) We must parent with our grandchildren in mind. Even though my children are three and five years old, I must think about how to communicate biblical truth to their children, and their children's children. This will require extra effort. Parenting is hard work, no doubt; but to do it biblically, we must begin to think further ahead than their college years. Going the extra mile will be required. We must think harder, search harder, work harder than is the culturally expectation of parents.

I think it is fair to assume that children left to themselves will practice less of the faith that we taught them. So we should shoot for overkill. Not in a smothering kind of way, but simply in a blood-earnest, seizing the moment, passionate to use every minute kind of way.

I think this will mean that we are intentional about establishing family traditions that will be markers of faith that can be carried on to our grandchildren. The Israelites had markers posted, so when their children asked about them, they could continually tell the story of God's deliverance. Are their traditions around holidays, or weekly traditions that allow the story of our faith to be retold? Is the decor of your home pointing to Christ? Do we use weekends and leisure time and vacations as ministry opportunities? We must share our stories of God's deliverance in our own lives, not just our testimonies. Our children should also have milestones in life that we make much of as they grow. Things, events, times that they can look back on and see Christ working in their lives. As parents we must continually help our children to see when God is working. And we must continually provide those opportunities for them to serve the needs of others and watch Him work.

I know it's cliche' but a failure to plan, is a plan to fail. Evaluate early if you are planning for your grandchildren!

Thanks for reading...