A Plea for Multi-Generational Parenting pt. 3

For my last post on this topic, I want to address two remaining issues. First of all relationships. If we are to pass on values and truth to the next generation, we must build and maintain relationships. Everyone thinks that they have a relationship with their children, but not every child thinks they have a genuine relationship with their parents. One of the best resources that I have seen on this topic was a message that Josh McDowell preached that the GA Baptist State Evangelism conference. You can order the message here. He shows the truth that if we don't maintain our close relationships with children and teens, they will not receive the truth that we teach (this is not ruling out the intervention of the Spirit, just stating truth). Truth is receive when its communicated in love. We must maintain intimacy with our children and teens, knowing them, relating to them, and serving them, else they will view the truth we teach as falsehood. This not only applies to our own families, but to those within the body of Christ that we minister to. And those in the community (assuming that you are ministering in the community). We must have closeness, vulnerability, honesty, love, and genuine commitment to them, BEFORE they will hear our truth. We must reduce judgmentalism and get involved in their world.

Secondly, we must personally sell out for Christ. Half-hearted Christian commitment will ensure apostasy in our own families, churches, and denominations. Nominal faith in one generation is no faith in the one that comes after it. According to Voddie Baucham it takes two Christian families with two kids a piece to get one believer into the next generation (it's not rocket science with a 75% defection rate). The younger generations see right through the hypocrisy that got by us. And they don't want that Christ, or at least not His church. McDowell says that never before in the history of the church has a hypocritical parent or church member been such a hindrance to the preaching of the word. If Christ is not everything to us all week long, all month long, all year long, our children will understand the shallowness of our commitment, and reject our gospel.

Strive to be the parent or parental figure that inspires legends about your godliness. Refuse to be a status quo, maintenance mentality, don't rock the boat believer. Let your testimony of your passion for Christ be evident. Pray that your family will be speaking of this great grandfather or grandmother who loved Jesus more than life itself. Pray that they will be aspiring to be like you. Pray that they will tell of your accomplishments for the kingdom for generations. THEN, GIVE THEM SOMETHING TO TALK ABOUT! Live radical for Jesus! Quit making excuses! Cut off the hands and gouge out the eyes that prevent you from living a legendary life and raising up Christian ballistic missiles! Live your faith out loud! May the dust of your Rabbi be all over you! And if so, may your tribe increase to the glory of God and the ingathering of the nations!

A Plea for Multi-Generational Parenting pt. 2

Deut 5:29 Oh, that they had such a heart in them that they would fear Me and always keep all My commandments, that it might be well with them and with their children forever!

These are the words of God about the commitments of the children of Israel to follow God's commandments. This was His hope for the current Israelites, the generations to come, and those of us who are grafted into the vine. And as I listen to grandparents whose grands and great-grands are wandering far from His ways, and as I read the latest numbers from Barna that say that 75-88% of second year college students that come out of the church are no longer participating in any kind of church life. Listen to the stats from another study recently published--out of 1200 adults with children under 18 years old living at home--only 15% include godliness in their children as a mark of successful parenting, only 24% of people who attend weekly religious services included it, only 29% of "born-again" Christians indicate that their faith even influences their parenting! And we wonder why the trends continue to escalate!

We must realign our goals in parenting, and seek the face and the instruction and help of God, if we ever hope to stem the tide. We must become discontent with cultural and nominally Christian goals! The parents in the above cited study listed these as the top five goals in parenting: 1) children have good values, 2) children become happy adults, 3) children are successful, 4) children become "good people," and finally, 5) getting a college degree. Nothing wrong with most of these, but the main goal is not to raise "good" kids, educated kids, athletically superior kids, well-mannered kids, church kids, moral kids, or kids with a healthy self-esteem. Our goal is to rear children that love Christ, supremely value Christ, and are valuable to the kingdom. If our children do not become God-centered, Christ-exalting, and Bride-loving as adults, something has gone wrong. (And this is not to say that perfect parenting produces perfect kids, or that all kids that go bad have histories of parental failure. There are no guarantees!) But whatever else our children achieve, if they do not love Christ and serve Him, all of their accomplishments will be wood, hay, and stubble in the kingdom. And my fear is that we take far too causal an approach to passing on the faith to the next generation. We must be intentional, and redouble every effort to ensure above all things their loyalty to Christ to the best of our abilities and to the glory of God.

Unfortunately the two groups of young people that I see continue in the faith are those that have radically sold out Christ-centered, fanatical parents, AND those that have unbelievers for parents, and very little support at home. I see countless numbers of youth that belong to normally committed church members going astray. I see youth who come from these families knowing the Sunday School answers, and how to act around the preacher and the church folks, but with very little genuine Christian fruit. Then when they are left to their own design without the restraining parental influence of home, they do not follow Christ. And if the children don't, how will the grands and great-grands fare? And why in part--because our goals are far too weak and our standards too low.

We must intentionally parent our children to faith with doctrine, scripture, family worship, godly parental examples free from hypocrisy and "churchianity," proper emphasis and priorities, biblical financial and relational and educational training, etc. We must consider our ways, lest we share the experience of many of our grandparents, and watch our future generations live lives that do not glorify the Most Glorious One! Parent for multiple generations that follow you so that you raise up Christian ballistic missiles that will all look back on you as the legend of faith in the family that laid the foundations for hundreds of faithful that come from your clan. And may the kingdom benefit from your efforts!